Category: Fun

Mother’s Driver’s License A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date. ‘Mummy’, the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’ ‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age’, the mother replied. ‘It’s not polite’. ‘OK’, the little girl says, ‘What colour was your hair 2…

1. Two blondes walk into a building……….you’d think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message – ‘…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…’ 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, ‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.’…

Young people have theirs, now Seniors have their own texting codes: * ATD ? At the doctor’s * BFF ? Best friends funeral * BTW ? Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT ? Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM – Covered by Medicare * CUATSC ? See You at the Senior Center * DWI – Driving…

A Yorkshire Treat A Yorkshireman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant. “Did you smell that food?” she said, “It’s wonderful.” Being the ‘Kind Hearted Yorkshireman’, he thought, “What the heck, I’ll treat her.” So they walked past it again…..

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t…

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really just don’t care anymore, .. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. .. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. .. A rabbit…

A 75 Year Old Lady rings her local NHS hospital and this conversation follows: ‘Hello I’d like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabilised or improved?’ ‘Do you know which ward she is in?’ ‘Yes,…

Actually, it’s a bit of a pain in the …. Sent in by Ed Nelsey  

Sent in by David Kirkham    

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