Category: Fun

A Consultant Heart Surgeon at the Freeman Hospital arrives at Geordie’s bed & draws the curtain “How are you doing Mr Smith?”, he asks Geordie “Wey not to bad Doctor ye knaa, cannit grumble” “Well I suppose you could Mr Smith, I have been looking at your latest test results and you have a tremedous amount…

Reckless Driver A Sunderland fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Magpies supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Newcastle United jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would…

Vladimir Putin, who as we know, is always wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people. At the end of…

A Poem for old rugby players……….. When the battle scars have faded And the truth becomes a lie And the weekend smell of liniment Could almost make you cry. When the last rucks well behind you And the man that ran now walks It doesn’t matter who you are The mirror sometimes talks Have a…

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look…

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted. Rear toilet? He suggests. Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five…

Some not quite 100% PC so please forgive that.   I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed four grave diggers walking about with a coffin. Three hours later and they’re still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they’ve lost the…

Hints on how to liven up your idle senior hours… To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars…watch ’em Slow Down! 2. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ For Marijuana’! 3. Skip down the street…